Recently

I had quite an awakening somewhat these last few weeks.

I had to admit alot of things that I have been denying for so long.

It's hard to admit especially to yourself that you have failed.

Firstly a relationship that was no longer there.

Lying to yourself that there was a relationship when in fact the person has left.

You know it and yet you keep thinking he still loves you.

It has ended but life goes on right?

So I tried dating again.

He is nice and caring and will make a good companion.

But I know I'm not ready cause my heart is still hurting.

Telling him that was hard.

But no more lies.

Seeing him recoil to his safe distance makes me feel so bad.

But at least I'm trying to do the right thing now.

Not rushing into another relationship and risk history repeating itself.

Secondly, hanging out with friends.

God I miss it.

Being in a relationship really kills time with friends.

As much as we all deny not ever forgetting friends.

It is a big fat lie.

You feel so obligated to please and spend time with a girlfriend or boyfriend.

So you forget that friends are always there for you when you are down.

Sean is planning a costume party.

Hopefully it turns out just fine.

P. A. R. T. Y?

Because we all gotta.

HAHA

Thirdly, I have to admit that my life is in a rut.

I have no job.

No money.

My life is not good now.

But I know my friends are here to help me get through it all.

So thank them all especially Sean.

I love you baby.

So I watched The Breakup yesterday.

It was like watching my life when I was in a relationship well some parts of it.

I really feel Brooke's thoughts and feelings.

I love the ending.

I want to be like her.

Pick herself up and get on with life.

So I need to get a job and get my diploma and then get a better job.

Further my studies again and get an even better job.

Haha sounds good?

I think so at least.

So don't forget the party will be on the 4th of November.

Everyone MUST come down.

Everytime I think of you I gaze at your photograph

The past has gone and will never repeat again

Just forget the stories of us

Don't plead to those who didn't care

Don't wait up for those who has already left

It will only open up old wounds

No word can ever describe the painful disappointments

So just let it be

What else is there to be said that hasn't already been said

The fates have dealt their cards

And yet this is human nature

Sweet words are easily spoken

But words are easily twisted

And tears continue to flow

Thinking of the bittersweet romance

In the end its just memories.