I have never really been a big fan of my own birthday.
This year feels different.
I actually want a big thing.
But it's too late to organise one.
I'm actually just happy with what she has planned.
Salsa dancing & drinks after that.
My mum asked me last week where we should go to for my birthday dinner.
At that moment I really didn't care where.
But it seems like she was kind of sad to hear that I actually had plans.
It was almost heartbreaking.
I really wish that I was more comfortable around her.
But I'm not.
I wish I could just do what I have always wanted to do.
But I can't.
It just feels like it's not a birthday.
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